I have no reason to talk to you; and yet I want to so bad.
Maybe it's just the idea of having someone around that I miss. I don't know.
It's almost pointless to type this out.

Nothing has ever changed. I don't believe it would ever change.
Ever..

You have nice memories of me.. but you won't give me good memories of you.
and when all is wrong you're still the last person to even try and fix anything.

You left me..
I never left you..

You ditched me..
You lied to me..
You accused me..
You could almost say you were a step below cheating on me with what you did with other guys and who you spoke to while lying to me saying that you weren't.
You just didn't screw them.. as far as I would know..

I can't trust you to even know that answer.

You miss all of these things about me..
What do I miss about you..

Well I guess I could say I miss about you the same of what you miss of me.
What, that I would tell you stories for none in return. That I would sing to you for no sound in return.
That I would put my arms around you while you fell asleep ontop of me.
That I could kiss you all day but you could only kiss me but so much until you'd rather go to sleep and ignore me and not even touch me.

Maybe I miss the idea of having someone around.
I know everyone gets over things though.

I've never wanted relationships because they're not worth it. For anyone.
The world is a slut, romance has yet to exist aside from stories.
People get together, they break up.
I don't understand how someone can be with someone.. and stare at another person..
How someone can be with someone.. and tell them they love them.. and find attraction for another.
I don't understand how someone can be with another person.. and lie to them.. about anything.
There shouldn't be such thing as dating.
There should be purely awesome or there should not be anything..

I want purely awesome or I don't want anything at all.
and nothing is purely awesome.

Maybe i'm the only one who sees it that way.

If I had a girl..
she would be the perfect girl.

She wouldn't find every other guy important.. and treat me like anything I say or have feelings for matters.
She wouldn't fuck me over for some other guy in order to talk to him about whatever..
Have him get involved.. and then give a shit for what he has to say or do afterwards.

She wouldn't leave me because she was wrong.

She wouldn't be wrong.

...
I could type a lot.. but I may as well stop.
Before I feel like i'm trying for something again when I shouldn't.

The idea Matt is to just leave.
Leave leave leave and die happy.
Ocean.. freedom.
No drama.
No parents.
No family.
Awesomeness.
You want awesome.

and then she ims you..
I want awesomeness..
or I don't want anything.

Updates:

-Moving within this weak, more than likely tomorrow.
-Working on Digital Painting more so than manipulation.

Havn't posted a journal on here since about the beginning of June, aside from Club Journals.

Rammsteins album should be out soon.
The Birthday Massacre is coming out with a new album in 2010.
Aqua is coming out with a new album in 2010.
Dethkloks new album sucks.
Ink Dot Boys new album has been once again postponed.
Muse's new album is okay.
The Protomens new album is the shit.

Sprite in a can is kind of disgusting.

Hello Daniel. lol

Listening to: U2
Changes to: Nine Inch Nails - Wish

Not much to say.. was tired of seeing that lame icon of some DA club that wasn't active anymore.

I'm very tired.
Very bored.

You know.. Nine Inch Nails could be so much better.
They're good.. like so good that you almost want to favorite them.
But you can't because they're just like.. not amazing.
I really think it's his voice.
The dude has a good voice but really.. it's not the voice to fit their music.

He has the voice of Monster Magnet, Filter and Stabbing Westward..

Each of them have the same exact voice.

Except Monster Magnet was from like, 1989..
Filter started in 1993..
Stabbing Westward started in.. wow.. 1985.. i didn't know Filter was that old.

and NIN was 1988?
I was sure Monster Magnet was before Nine Inch Nails..
they were probably famous before NIN i'm sure..
because Heavy Metal was created in 1981..
and Heavy Metal 2000 was obviously made on 2000.
Though it seems a LOT longer ago..
9 years ago.. almost 10.

hrm.. i was thinking Monster Magnet played for Heavy Metal, not Heavy Metal FAKK 2..
so yeah nvm.. Monster Magnet isn't that old.

What are some interesting movies that like.. not a lot of people have seen for some reason.

There's:
Heavy Metal
Heavy Metal 2000
Cool World
The Witches

Downloading 'the witches' now.. actually..

There's a lot more but whatever.

I'm so bored..